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Shipping & delivery
This item will be posted to you by Kloak Candles within 3 days of receiving payment.
| Shipping destination | Cost | Additional items |
|---|---|---|
| United Kingdom | £0.00 | |
| EU & Northern Ireland | Doesn't deliver here | |
| United States | Doesn't deliver here | |
| Rest of the World | Doesn't deliver here | |
Kloak Candles started in my kitchen in Bournemouth with a love of cosy spaces, funny labels, and gorgeous scents. I wanted to make candles that didn’t take themselves too seriously — ones that could make you laugh while still filling your home with a truly luxurious fragrance.
Every candle is hand-poured in small batches using 100% natural soy wax, eco-friendly materials, and vegan-friendly fragrance oils. The amber jars are recyclable (and can even be returned for a discount on your next candle), and each one is made with care from start to finish.
What began as a creative hobby quickly turned into a passion for crafting high-quality, sustainable candles with a bit of attitude. Whether you’re treating yourself or gifting someone a giggle, Kloak Candles are all about comfort, character, and candles that actually say what you’re thinking.
Safety information
To get the best from your candle and keep things safe, please follow these simple steps: Always trim the wick to around 5mm before lighting. Allow the wax to melt evenly to the edges on the first burn to prevent tunnelling. Never leave a burning candle unattended or move it while lit. Keep away from drafts, pets, children, and anything that can catch fire. Do not burn for more than 4 hours at a time. Stop burning when about 1cm of wax remains at the bottom. Place on a heat-resistant surface and keep the jar free from debris such as matches or wick trimmings. Following these guidelines will help your candle burn cleanly, evenly, and safely every time.
You have 14 days, from receipt, to notify the seller if you wish to cancel your order or exchange an item.
Unless faulty, the following types of items are non-refundable: items that are personalised, bespoke or made-to-order to your specific requirements; items which deteriorate quickly (e.g. food), personal items sold with a hygiene seal (cosmetics, underwear) in instances where the seal is broken; digital items.
Please note that if your order is being posted outside mainland UK, you (or the recipient) may have to pay customs or VAT charges and a handling fee. The seller is not responsible for any charges or fees that may incur.
Full description
Handmade in Bournemouth, this funny nautical candle blends sarcasm with sustainability. Ideal as a rude candle for men, a quirky addition to nautical décor, or the ultimate funny boyfriend gift. With luxury soy wax, long burn time, and strong scent throw, the W Anchor candle proves you can be eco-conscious and offensive at the same time — beautifully so.
For the man who thinks he’s captain material but can barely navigate his laundry — meet the W Anchor candle. Subtle enough to get past his mum, bold enough to make your mates howl, this cheeky nautical candle says exactly what you’re thinking (without you having to say it out loud).
Each 150ml candle is hand-poured by me in Bournemouth using 100% natural soy wax for a clean, even burn that lasts up to 30 hours. The navy and pink design gives it a classic maritime look — stylish, rude, and guaranteed to cause a smirk. It’s the perfect rude gift for men, funny stocking filler, or Secret Santa triumph that’ll be talked about long after Christmas.
Choose from my signature scents:
Vanilla – warm, sweet, and a little too good for him.
Fresh Linen – clean and crisp (unlike his chat).
Citrus (Lemongrass & Ginger) – sharp and zesty.
Marshmallow Fluff – sugary, soft, and full of irony.
Herbal (Amber & Orange) – refined, relaxing, slightly judgy.
Woody (Tobacco & Oak) – deep, smoky, and dangerously moreish.
Mystery Scent – could be anything, like his life plan.
Designed by Natalka in Bournemouth
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