All items by Kloak Candles

Funny Soy Candles Hand-Poured in Bournemouth | Small Batch, Big Attitude

Kloak Candles started the way a lot of great things do — with a girl, a kitchen, and a mild existential crisis. What began as a lockdown hobby (and an excuse to justify buying way too many fragrance oils) quickly turned into a full-blown obsession with scent, sarcasm and soy wax.

Every Kloak candle is hand-poured in Bournemouth, surrounded by half-empty coffee cups, playlists that haven’t changed in three years, and the faint sound of me talking to my cat about burn temperatures. I wanted to create candles that didn’t just smell amazing, but actually said something — funny, honest, sometimes a bit sweary, but always real.

Because here’s the truth: life’s too short for boring candles. I make each one from 100% natural soy wax, pour it into amber glass jars (fully recyclable, of course), and top it off with a label that might make you laugh, snort, or question your life choices — in the best way possible.

My inspiration? The everyday chaos we’re all wading through. The break-ups, the hangovers, the “did I leave the oven on?” moments. Kloak is a little celebration of it all — proof that humour and good scent can make even the messiest days feel a bit better.

So if you’re looking for a candle that’s as unapologetic as you are, welcome to Kloak. It’s just me here — hand-pouring, labelling, packing, and occasionally covered in glitter — and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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