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Shipping & delivery
This item will be posted to you by Kloak Candles within 3 days of receiving payment.
| Shipping destination | Cost | Additional items |
|---|---|---|
| United Kingdom | £0.00 | |
| EU & Northern Ireland | Doesn't deliver here | |
| United States | Doesn't deliver here | |
| Rest of the World | Doesn't deliver here | |
Kloak Candles began in my Bournemouth kitchen with a simple idea - to make soy candles that smell incredible and don’t take themselves too seriously. I’ve always loved creating cosy spaces filled with gorgeous scents and funny candle labels that make people smile.
Each candle is hand-poured in small batches using 100% natural soy wax, eco-friendly materials, and vegan-friendly fragrance oils. The amber glass jars are fully recyclable and can even be returned for a discount on your next one, keeping things sustainable and planet-friendly.
What started as a creative side project has grown into a collection of funny gifts designed to make your home smell amazing and your friends laugh out loud. Whether you’re treating yourself or finding the perfect thoughtful gift with personality, Kloak Candles are all about warmth, wit, and quality craftsmanship… candles that truly say what you’re thinking.
Safety information
To get the best from your candle and keep things safe, please follow these simple steps: Always trim the wick to around 5mm before lighting. Allow the wax to melt evenly to the edges on the first burn to prevent tunnelling. Never leave a burning candle unattended or move it while lit. Keep away from drafts, pets, children, and anything that can catch fire. Do not burn for more than 4 hours at a time. Stop burning when about 1cm of wax remains at the bottom. Place on a heat-resistant surface and keep the jar free from debris such as matches or wick trimmings. Following these guidelines will help your candle burn cleanly, evenly, and safely every time.
You have 14 days, from receipt, to notify the seller if you wish to cancel your order or exchange an item.
Unless faulty, the following types of items are non-refundable: items that are personalised, bespoke or made-to-order to your specific requirements; items which deteriorate quickly (e.g. food), personal items sold with a hygiene seal (cosmetics, underwear) in instances where the seal is broken; digital items.
Please note that if your order is being posted outside mainland UK, you (or the recipient) may have to pay customs or VAT charges and a handling fee. The seller is not responsible for any charges or fees that may incur.
Full description
Funny candle for smart, sassy women—Brains are the New Tits celebrates intelligence, confidence, and cheeky feminist vibes.
Hand-poured with love in Bournemouth, this candle is made in small batches using 100% natural soy wax, giving you a clean, long-lasting burn. Each 150ml amber jar comes with a recyclable aluminium lid, making it eco-friendly and charmingly bespoke. Perfect for treating yourself or gifting your feminist bestie, it’s a little piece of joy you can light up anywhere, from your desk to your living room.
Choose your favourite scent from our menu image and let the fragrance fill the room with your brilliance.
Dispatched within 1–2 days on free tracked 48-hour Royal Mail delivery.
Whether you’re searching for a funny candle, quirky gift, or scented candles to brighten a home or office, this playful, empowering candle ticks every box.
Designed by Natalka in Bournemouth
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