View shop
Add to basket
Item details
Shipping & delivery
This item will be posted to you by Kloak Candles within 3 days of receiving payment.
| Shipping destination | Cost | Additional items |
|---|---|---|
| United Kingdom | £0.00 | |
| EU & Northern Ireland | Doesn't deliver here | |
| United States | Doesn't deliver here | |
| Rest of the World | Doesn't deliver here | |
Kloak Candles started in my kitchen in Bournemouth with a love of cosy spaces, funny labels, and gorgeous scents. I wanted to make candles that didn’t take themselves too seriously — ones that could make you laugh while still filling your home with a truly luxurious fragrance.
Every candle is hand-poured in small batches using 100% natural soy wax, eco-friendly materials, and vegan-friendly fragrance oils. The amber jars are recyclable (and can even be returned for a discount on your next candle), and each one is made with care from start to finish.
What began as a creative hobby quickly turned into a passion for crafting high-quality, sustainable candles with a bit of attitude. Whether you’re treating yourself or gifting someone a giggle, Kloak Candles are all about comfort, character, and candles that actually say what you’re thinking.
Safety information
To get the best from your candle and keep things safe, please follow these simple steps: Always trim the wick to around 5mm before lighting. Allow the wax to melt evenly to the edges on the first burn to prevent tunnelling. Never leave a burning candle unattended or move it while lit. Keep away from drafts, pets, children, and anything that can catch fire. Do not burn for more than 4 hours at a time. Stop burning when about 1cm of wax remains at the bottom. Place on a heat-resistant surface and keep the jar free from debris such as matches or wick trimmings. Following these guidelines will help your candle burn cleanly, evenly, and safely every time.
You have 14 days, from receipt, to notify the seller if you wish to cancel your order or exchange an item.
Unless faulty, the following types of items are non-refundable: items that are personalised, bespoke or made-to-order to your specific requirements; items which deteriorate quickly (e.g. food), personal items sold with a hygiene seal (cosmetics, underwear) in instances where the seal is broken; digital items.
Please note that if your order is being posted outside mainland UK, you (or the recipient) may have to pay customs or VAT charges and a handling fee. The seller is not responsible for any charges or fees that may incur.
Full description
Let’s be honest - hot girls poo too. Whether you’re lighting this up post-takeaway or gifting it to your sassiest mate, this cheeky soy wax candle brings a dose of rude, real-girl energy to your bathroom. It’s the perfect funny candle for anyone who loves a laugh and knows that even queens deserve a relaxed bathroom moment.
I hand-pour each candle in small batches in my Bournemouth kitchen, using 100% natural soy wax for a clean, long burn that lasts up to 30 hours. Every jar is made with care, cured for rich scent throw, and packaged in eco-friendly materials. Because even a rude candle deserves luxury quality and a conscience.
Each 150ml amber glass jar is topped with an aluminium lid and fully recyclable, making it ideal as a quirky housewarming gift, a funny Secret Santa idea, or simply a treat for yourself. My candles are vegan-friendly, non-toxic, and burn beautifully — no smoke, no fuss, just gorgeous scent and a bit of bathroom banter.
Choose from one of my six bestselling fragrances:
Vanilla – warm, sweet, and classic
Fresh Linen – clean and comforting
Citrus – lemongrass & ginger, zesty and energising
Herbal – orange & bergamot, fresh and calming
Marshmallow Fluff – sugary, soft, and nostalgic
Woody – tobacco & oak, rich and grounding
A bold, funny gift for your best friend, your flatmate, or yourself — because the best bathroom accessories come with a sense of humour.
Designed by Natalka in Bournemouth
Other shop items you might like:
More items from this category