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Shipping & delivery
This item will be posted to you by Kloak Candles within 3 days of receiving payment.
| Shipping destination | Cost | Additional items |
|---|---|---|
| United Kingdom | £0.00 | |
| EU & Northern Ireland | Doesn't deliver here | |
| United States | Doesn't deliver here | |
| Rest of the World | Doesn't deliver here | |
Kloak Candles started in my kitchen in Bournemouth with a love of cosy spaces, funny labels, and gorgeous scents. I wanted to make candles that didn’t take themselves too seriously — ones that could make you laugh while still filling your home with a truly luxurious fragrance.
Every candle is hand-poured in small batches using 100% natural soy wax, eco-friendly materials, and vegan-friendly fragrance oils. The amber jars are recyclable (and can even be returned for a discount on your next candle), and each one is made with care from start to finish.
What began as a creative hobby quickly turned into a passion for crafting high-quality, sustainable candles with a bit of attitude. Whether you’re treating yourself or gifting someone a giggle, Kloak Candles are all about comfort, character, and candles that actually say what you’re thinking.
Safety information
To get the best from your candle and keep things safe, please follow these simple steps: Always trim the wick to around 5mm before lighting. Allow the wax to melt evenly to the edges on the first burn to prevent tunnelling. Never leave a burning candle unattended or move it while lit. Keep away from drafts, pets, children, and anything that can catch fire. Do not burn for more than 4 hours at a time. Stop burning when about 1cm of wax remains at the bottom. Place on a heat-resistant surface and keep the jar free from debris such as matches or wick trimmings. Following these guidelines will help your candle burn cleanly, evenly, and safely every time.
You have 14 days, from receipt, to notify the seller if you wish to cancel your order or exchange an item.
Unless faulty, the following types of items are non-refundable: items that are personalised, bespoke or made-to-order to your specific requirements; items which deteriorate quickly (e.g. food), personal items sold with a hygiene seal (cosmetics, underwear) in instances where the seal is broken; digital items.
Please note that if your order is being posted outside mainland UK, you (or the recipient) may have to pay customs or VAT charges and a handling fee. The seller is not responsible for any charges or fees that may incur.
Full description
Looking for a funny candle that makes the perfect Secret Santa gift or office party talking point? My ‘96% Regret the Christmas Party’ candle is a cheeky reminder of those festive nights that seemed like a good idea at the time. It’s the ideal light-hearted present for colleagues with a sense of humour and a healthy respect for statistics.
Each candle is hand-poured by me in small batches of just seven at a time, using 100% natural soy wax. I pour, label and package every one in my kitchen, ensuring it burns evenly, looks stylish and smells incredible. Soy wax burns longer and cleaner than typical high street candles, and it’s completely pet friendly, so you can enjoy it without worry.
Every candle comes in a recyclable amber glass jar with an aluminium lid and eco-conscious packaging. With up to 30 hours of burn time, it offers a strong scent throw that fills the room even when it’s not lit. It’s the perfect balance of quality craftsmanship and playful humour – designed to make people smile while still feeling like a premium, handmade gift.
Choose from six fragrances: Vanilla, Amber & Orange, Tobacco & Oak, Fresh Linen, Lemongrass & Ginger or Marshmallow Fluff. Feeling curious? Pick the discounted Mystery Scent and you might just discover your new favourite fragrance. Funny, sustainable and a little bit mischievous – the perfect Secret Santa candle for anyone who loves a laugh.
Designed by Natalka in Bournemouth
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